Periwinkle

I was practicing the fine art of “going out alone. Answering to no one but myself, leaving my life to be that of a blank, unpredictable canvas colored only by magnificent opportunities, powerful experiences and unexpected friends and lovers existing all over the globe.

Watching my dim, candle lit reflection. I noticed that I was the girl that ordered a table for one skimming through the restaurant menu with eyes on me. When out seeing other woman at a restaurant alone. There was something vivaciously vampy about a girl eating fried snow peas while nursing a pack of “Bulgars” (rolling tobacco) alone.

The modern day vixen, is very different from the endless supply of obvious “hot girls” over-saturating the bars and restaurants in cities and towns across the great expanse of the universe.

Everyone should be allowed to do what ever they want and yet in my own life. Going to a bar alone feels indelicate. Even though I am not on the prowl for fresh meat or whatever you guys call it nowadays haha, really. When I enter a bar alone it feels like everyone must assume I am. Bars are many things from your secret drinking problem. But they are also a highly charged sexual market place and I cant tell which frightens me more. The idea that some men might try to make moves on me or the idea that no one will.

-Ayana C.