3:40AM

Every night when I put my head against the pillow, it’s like an adventure. I never know how long it’s gonna take me to sleep. But what happens is that my mind starts to race uncomfortably. I don’t shut off my brain, my brain doesn’t shut off. I can’t control where it goes or for how long… sometimes as soon as my head hits the pillow I start hearing music some cases it’s a song I hear.. it just starts looping over and over again. There’s a song for instance “The Wind cries Mary” by Jimi Hendrix/ Experience, I just think of over and over again. Unable to let it go; it’s like a routine I learn I know that there’s an off switch but how do you turn it off?

I lose interest after one hundred sheep… I use to imagine them jumping over the parity honestly I don’t know where that comes from but I know everyone has their own way to fall asleep. It can’t be infancy because there are many people out there who have had bad sleeping problems due to infancy but have gotten over it throughout the years and can sleep… I know most people don’t think about it but…

How to sleep?

You love the way that bed feels.

You love the way that pillow feels.

You love the way that blanket feels… and that should be it.

You don’t have to learn how to sleep. It’s built in the brain to go to sleep. But why can’t I go to sleep… I’ve tried  deep hypnosis but nothing though it has cured my anxiety but for only a little while.

What comes across my mind?

Everything… what of I don’t wake up early enough. Have I eaten enough. Ugh I have to get up so early. I wish I can just go to sleep. I wonder what they are doing. People are usually born to love not hate. So if someone was born in a bad setting does that make them a bad person or would they go to help… it’s not they’re fault. I don’t believe in any of that religious crap, it’s evil.maybe if I try and day dream I might stay dream myself to sleep, oh wait that will lead me to lucid dream etc etc…. I go on and on about any and everything. Over thinking things at night is what I do best yet I am also very creative and full of awesome ideas. 

The road to sleep can be filled with detours but I had forgotten to fall asleep. That’s honestly like forgetting how to walk.  Once I’m up I’m up.